Perceptions
by goldpiece
Summary: The squint squad discuss the differences between males and females when it comes to 'biological urges'. Drastic action is taken to prove a point.


_AN: This one is just a little different. Big surprise coming from me, right? There is a same sex kiss in this story, but it is in no way meant to be a slash fic. In fact the idea came from watching a commercial for 'Girls Gone Wild' and the many times I watched 'The Man Show' with my husband. You'll understand what I mean when you get there. I hope you find the ideas portrayed interesting, and I want to know as always what you think of it. Happy reading all._

"Look, all I'm saying is that masturbation is a perfectly natural way to achieve release and everybody does it. There's no need to get all huffy about it." Angela took a sip from her drink and set it back on the table. She, Hodgins, Zack, Brennan and Booth were at a local night club to celebrate the end of their latest case, and the conversation had quickly turned to matters of sex. The artist turned her reproachful stare onto Booth who was clearly uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation.

"And I'm saying that this is way too much information."

"Agent Booth, you can't say that you don't engage in it yourself. Everyone does, therefore if you deny it, you'd be lying," Zack commented, only after the words were out did he realize that Booth was glaring at him.

"Wait, what? Why would I even…you know what, I'm gonna go."

"No, don't go. I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with the subject matter, but it's just one of the differences between how we perceive sex." Temperance finally joined in the conversation as she played with the straw in her drink. Booth's eyes were drawn to the movement as he ardently wished he could be the straw.

"How you and I perceive it, or just people in general?"

"Males and females think of sex differently, though there are some constant variables. Masturbation is just one of them."

"How can that be the same when it's not even…why am I even talking to you guys about this?"

"Think about it Booth. The reason it's a constant is because it allows you to know what feels good. You can't expect sex to be good if you can't tell your lover what will feel good, or what will get you to orgasm."

"Hey, I never needed anyone to tell me what to do, and I haven't had any complaints thank you very much."

"And I suppose that's why you wear the 'cocky' belt buckle?" Angela smirked and took another sip of her drink. It was always amusing to see the agent out of his element.

"Among other things," he retorted. Please let this be the end of it, he thought as he watched the thoughtful expression on Brennan's face.

"I suppose that penis size would have something to do with your attitude. It's been shown that men consider the size of their penis to be an indicator of virility, and in the evolutionary chain of events, it had to play a part. I mean consider the fact that the penis of the male mountain gorilla is only about two thirds of an inch in length. As close as we are to the gorilla, that is one thing that evolution changed."

"I thought size doesn't matter to women," Zack commented, confused.

"They just say that Zacko."

"Women don't care about the size of the male so long as he knows what he's doing." Booth looked at Brennan, not entirely shocked that she could say that in a serious tone to her former student. Then again, she'd always been honest with the kid, and both were probably viewing this as a learning experience. Perish the thought.

"Sweetie, speak for yourself. You might not think the size of the ship counts but I can tell you it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat."

"I'm assuming that was a euphemism for sex?"

"Can we just not talk about this, please?" Booth looked at the two women, praying once again that the conversation would magically stop because he'd asked them to. What was he thinking?

"It's not just about the actual act though. It's about the buildup. That's so important, especially for women."

"That's right baby, it's all about the foreplay." Jack grinned at Angela and winked at her when she threw him a flirtatious look in his direction as she traced the rim of her glass with her finger.

"The kissing is so important to that. I don't think guys understand how important it really is."

"I don't know Ange, I've never particularly found the need to get ready by kissing whomever I was with."

"That's because you have sex Bones, there's no need when it's all clinical for you." Okay, he'd had enough of the talk, but this was one point he wouldn't let her get away with. "Think about what a kiss is. You and the other person are joined together, your breath is mingling, bodies connected…you can't just randomly kiss someone and have it mean something. Kissing is so much more intimate than that."

"Booth, a kiss is just a kiss. It doesn't matter who you kiss, the physical experience will still be the same."

"No, there is no way that a kiss between two men is the same as between a man and a woman."

"The feel of lips against lips, or the sensation of tongues touching will be the same regardless of sex. They all feel the same."

"No. There is no way that I would enjoy kissing another man. No way whatsoever." Booth shook his head vehemently to emphasize the point.

"It's such a shame that you guys are so homophobic," Angela tutted as she watched the three guys move slightly away from each other. "Women have no problem with that."

"Have no problem with what," Zack asked, only mildly confused. This wasn't the first time it happened with the subject, and his thoughts drifted back to the hot courier bringing body parts and bear excrement from Washington two years previous. Why exactly was it hot for the courier to have chosen Angela?

"Women are much more comfortable with their sexuality. As evidenced by the number of times that girls kiss other girls they can deal maturely with a same sex relationship simply because they can connect with their partner on an emotional level. They can just as easily be with a man as a woman."

"That isn't true. There has to be a level of attraction to be in any relationship," Booth argued, though at the moment, he was hard pressed to not picture the two women engaging in some non-platonic touching.

"Look, all I'm saying Booth is that if you took any two women on the street and asked them to kiss, they most likely would. If you were to ask the same thing of two men…" Angela shrugged. Booth quirked an eyebrow at the artist and put his hands on his hips.

"You mean to tell me that if I asked you to kiss another woman, you would?" Booth got the answer to his question as Angela dropped her lips onto Brennan's. He, Hodgins and Zack watched with rapt attention as the kiss deepened and the tips of their tongues touched as they shifted the positions of their heads.

"Holy hell, that is so hot," Hodgins breathed when the kiss finally broke. Angela gingerly wiped the corners of her mouth and looked at the three men.

"Are you telling me that you'd do the same thing?" She smiled confidently as the three men looked away from each other for a moment. "That's what I thought." What happened next however, surprised her. Booth wrapped an arm around Brennan's waist, pulling her snugly up against his body before crashing his lips onto hers. It took the anthropologist by surprise, but it was only momentary before she began to respond to Booth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her as the kiss deepened. Booth touched his tongue to her lips lightly, tasting her until she opened up for him, sensuously rubbing her tongue against his. He tightened his grip on her waist and slid his free hand up into her hair, relishing the feel of the silky strands threaded through his fingers.

"You do realize Booth that by doing the same thing I meant kissing someone of the same sex." Angela watched in amusement as the kiss ended with a loud 'pop'.

"Of course I knew what you meant and was just giving her a 'guy kiss'." Well if her kissing him under the mistletoe was like kissing her brother, then he could give her a 'guy kiss' right?

"Dude, if you kiss other men that way, then I think there's something you've been hiding from all of us."

XxXxX

Later that evening as the group was on the way from the club, Zack pulled Temperance to the side curious about one item of the earlier conversation.

"Dr. Brennan, I have to know just one thing."

"What's that Zack?"

"Was kissing Angela the same as kissing Agent Booth?" Brennan looked over at Booth as he picked up her coat for her. When he caught her looking at him, he had an intense expression on his face. She quickly looked away from him and back at Zack, hoping the blush spreading over her cheeks wasn't that obvious.

"It was, if you keep emotion out of the equation." With that, she walked away to join Booth at the door. Booth helped her into her coat and guided her gently from the club, his hand firmly on the small of her back.


End file.
